nicholas is shaking his booty to classical music... lovely lol it's been so rainy lately that all i've been doing is playing tetris and have classical music on loud so i don't have to use my belly buds. nicholas is pretty active and is a light sleeper like me. but he falls asleep just as fast so i hope it carries over when he's born. i hope i'll have a bit early and that delivery will be easy. i had a dream last night that after he was born, i took him shopping and he's so good he's quiet and listens and knows me so well even though he's so little. it's crazy but it's the first dream i had of him where he's a baby and i just woke up feeling all happy :)

there's so much regret in my past. and sometimes when i think about it, all it does is hurt me. i wonder what if. what if i was more patient. what if i listened more. what if i looked deeper? i regret so much. how everything unraveled. i wish some things didn't happen, and i wish i was able to have things turn out differently. if only i've done something different my life could've turned out so differently.

i've decided to try the world of finance and see if i can make it. i'm gonna start school for my life insurance license soon and i hope to work for a good financial group to help people build their net worth and to help them save to build a financial house. i feel as if, if someone like me who makes so little or none at all can build my own net worth then anyone that makes minimum wage can. because why do we work so hard for a paycheck to pay our bills with, yet we don’t pay ourselves? if we only paid ourselves like we paid our bills, rent, or groceries we would be able to save and not be in so much debt. if we work for our money, we need to make it work for us.

bra extenders and emjoi epilator came in the mail today. i'm really excited since this'll mean i'll be out of sports bras for awhile and i'll be nice and smooth :) 25wks today and only 15 more to go!

valentine's day wasn't as bad as everyone bashed it to be just cause kris isn't home. but you know what? he texted me and i woke up to a love message and lots of sweet nothings so i'm happy! and he also bought me a brand new pillow top mattress but he just doesn't know it yet lol.. SO COMFY!! i had a full frame here at my mom's but because of the time constraints i didn't have time to get a new mattress for it so i used a twin instead and flushed the gap with body pillows but it wasn't bad. however, i do miss rolling around in bed and i went ahead and looked at sear's outlet since i had the gift cards from the heroes at home gift registry from christmas left over and i figured why not. they're also the cheapest place i found for just a mattress! so i searched and i came upon a serta pillowtop medium firm mattress that's reconditioned. and it turned out to be just a floor model for 2wks before it got replaced with another one! because of that a $5oo mattress was mine for $63! it was still packaged and has a 5yr warranty on it! so why not? hehe now i have a mattress that fits right and i know when kris comes home for leave with the baby i'd need it anyways and i hate rushing at the last minute. i know he'll love a nice warm bed to lay in instead of a twin with body pillows hahaha

apparently after this weekend everyone is going to hell lol.. my family went out to dimsum for my cousins' bday and she tried to be like me and told her mom she's pregnant and her mom said 'i'll kill you' our other aunt said 'jesus teaches you to not kill people...' and my cousin said 'yeah it's a sin, but if you do kill me, we'll both go to hell together' my aunt's face was 'i'll kill you bitch' hahahaha and after i've been out of the house this entire weekend my mom made a comment to me about how it makes me look bad since i'm married. i told her that 'jesus teaches people you shouldn't gossip and to be a model citizen... be careful or you'll go to hell' she says 'i'm gonna kill you' and i tell her 'he's listening...' hahahah it hasn't gotten old yet :P

i’ve been walking a lot in hopes to make my labor easier but what i’ve been mistaking for cramps turned out to be the early signs of contractions and i need to back off my walking before i pop nicholas out at 24wks or put myself on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. pretty scary and so i’m backing off. and walking doesn’t reduce labor pains, but it helps you to better endure labor. woot woot for high risk. blergh.