i've been talking about sex non stop to just about anyone who talks to me. i feel like such a perv sometimes but it's the closest thing i can get til after the baby's born. i'm still crossing my fingers kris will come home advon and that the baby will come early. i've been nesting like crazy and started on nicholas' laundry a couple days ago and i'm still working on it. so many things to wash! and then rearranging it all. i hope that after he's born, i'll have the energy to do his laundry and put it away the way i have it now. i also hope that i won't have to change him like a million times a day or we'll never have enough clothes. the 31st meu page said they got replenished today so hopefully there's mail for them since i sent kris a package a month ago and 2 about 2 wks or so ago. i'm tired but a total insomniac. i'm trying to sleep -_____-

i am feeling so sick. whether i eat or not i just wanna throw something up. definitely not as bad at my 1st trimester though so i'll just sit tight and count my blessings.

leave it to me to eat like a horse. even though i can't eat as much as i did pre pregnancy or in my 2nd trimester, i'm still hungry all the time. all this noshing is kinda annoying especially when i've wiped out everything in the house. i've only gone up 18lbs this entire pregnancy so i'm a few lbs over the ideal weight but still have some wiggle room to work on that until i deliver. the ladies at church also made a surprise announcement today that they'll be having a baby shower for me the 1st sunday in may so i was in a shock when i heard cause i had no idea! so i'm getting excited :) ahhhhhhhhhh i'm so hungry!!

our communication has been cut in half but i'm still glad i get to talk to kris everyday. i'm also trying not to sleep so much during the day cause when i'm awake i feel as if my eyes are half closed and they're so heavy. too much sleep isn't good :/.. then i'm feeling so yucky today and idk if it's the weather but i'm just not having it. i'm all itchy with hives and i hate being itchy.. ugh!! gonna try to make an appt to see my dr tomorrow if i can to get something to make it go away. then there's new sensation in my belly and i think it happens when nicholas moves but it's like someone has their fist up against the inside of my belly and is just twisting and pushing their fist into me.. it's so weird and it's pretty uncomfortable but not painful. i'm having one of those days when all i want to do is cry and cry and cry. i wish kris was here to cuddle me and let me cry it all out then put me to bed :( i miss my bebe!! everything changes everyday but i'm praying that he'll be able to come home early. it'll absolutely crush him if he can't... aiyah.

kris just docked in japan and i'm anxious to hear from him what is the next step from here. in the meanwhile the weather here has been a bit wack meaning one day it's bright and sunny and the next it's pouring and hailing like it's nobody's business. 10.5wks to go and i'm anxious for the time to fly. all i have to do is get nursing items, laundry washed and stored, and that's about it. i've been so good at keeping calm through all this that i'm afraid i'm just gonna lose it in the end. i also got a ridiculously long email from kris that says nothing but i love you. this day is interesting. i got up at 4am to pee, then only to see kris online and we chatted for a bit. then i get some nice emails from him this afternoon :) he really knows how to brighten up my rainy days. i'm wanting some ihop so my friend angelica also needs some 'me' time so we're gonna go gossip away at ihop in a bit. pretty excited to get out and stretch for a bit. i'm usually cooped up in bed either napping or netflixing when then the weather gets real ugly like this. woot woot!

12 more wks to go! i'm in my 3rd trimester and i'm getting so antsy. i really want this time to fly. first cause i'm getting uncomfortable and i'm really getting big now. like as soon as i hit 28wks, my belly just blew up lol then it'll be about when kris comes home. so i'm really wanting this time to go go go! and also, the meu is being repositioned and is on stand by in japan for humanitarian efforts. there's a lot of backlash because people are saying that the us govt shouldnt be helping the japanese because of what happened at pearl harbor and that it's karma. my mind is reeling because there is no humanity. and it makes me so sad that this is the society my child will be exposed to and i'm not ok with that. i was taught that no matter what others do to you, kill them with kindness. because an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. i'll have to pray on this in church tomorrow. i really hope that they'll be safe in that area and that as many lives as possible can be saved.

“Deployments do not have to be like the end of the world. They are tough, and they can be trying, but they can also be done. If there is anything that a deployment does for a couple, it’s helping us realize all the things we love about our spouse … because they are always the things we miss the most.” - Sara Horn

my confirmation is next sunday and i'm so excited! cause when kris comes home he already called dibs to be confirmed with the baby and that he wants to start going to church and making the family stronger. which makes me so so happy. in any case, if we are both confirmed then we can finally have a church wedding sometime later on down the road and that means little nicholas can be a bit bigger and maybe even participate :) i'm headed head first into my 3rd trimester in a couple days and my body is going back to my 1st trimester with constant peeing and nausea not to mention i'm so out of breath sometimes cause he's all up on my lungs. little nicholas, what will i ever do with you? hehe.. and then yesterday i went to my mom's friend's place and she gifted me with a hiking carrier for babies, a potty training potty, a night and day bottle warmer, dr brown bottles, a diaper genie, and a brand new limerick's pj double breastpump with is retailed from 575-700+. which is amazing. i can't believe i got so lucky and not have to worry so much. she even gave me a bedding set, an infant/toddler tub which means i don't need to transition out of this 1st tub so fast, shower toys, and some other fun things. only 12more wks to go and i'm getting so excited. i can't wait to go to motherhood maternity and get some nursing items so i can finally finish packing my bag and just anticipate his arrival :) also his stroller frame was delivered to me a few days ago and i love how light it is! i just hope kris doesn't go overboard with buying baby items overseas but i'm sure he will anyways lol

the state of ca thinks i'm rich. my registration came, then my license renewal is the same month and then i got a parking ticket in front of my house. holy jesus... it's gonna be a very expensive month of may