nicholas made his debut early on may 24 at 1:29pm. i've been talking about wanting to pop nicholas out any day and how i was ready to have him already but when it came down to it, i was panicked and wasn't so sure if i was ready to have him out right then and there. i had just went to bed at 4am monday morning and not even an hour later just shy of 5am my water broke and it took me a while to realize that my water broke. i actually stood there dripping for a few minutes trying to comprehend what just happened and trying to wake up. by the time i came to, i was almost frantic. my water broke and i wasn't having any contractions so i was given cervidil to help efface me and it took 12 hours to bring me to 50%.

this was before the pitocin


kristopher trying to get comfy during the long wait

by the time 10pm rolled around, i was given pitocin and out of the 20 levels i was given i only made it to level 7 before i couldn't sleep through my contractions anymore and despite my option for an epidural i tried to hold off but by the time i got to level 10, i could barely sleep through my contractions. and to be honest, running on no sleep for almost 24hours i was pretty desperate to get some sleep in my life so i finally asked for an epidural which let me sleep at least 4hours and my cervix finally dilated a whole whopping 2cm. 2-3 hours later, i was dilated to 4cm, and by noon i was 10cm and 99% effaced and the pressure from nicholas trying to get out was so great that the epidural didn't help much. by the time i was ready to push i had been in the hospital for over 32 hours, kris and i were both cranky and delirious from lack of sleep and poor kris had to put 2 chairs and an ottoman together to even be able to sleep.

before i started pushing...

i started pushing around 1230 and even with my epidural turned off an hour before i started pushing, i didn't feel him coming down or crowning or anything. his head was just big enough to where he couldn't crown and the labor nurse said that i was getting tired and to go ahead and give me an episiotomy. so i watched my dr snip me.. the scissors moving and as soon as she snipped, nicholas came flying out. the doctor put him on my chest and he was so heavy it knocked the wind out of me. didn't help that i was delirious and had low oxygen too.. but i looked at my dr and said he's huge!

when he was first placed on me

they weighed him and my dr and i were both staring at the scale and were both equally stunned that he was outside of the 7lb range as she predicted let alone 8lbs 6oz! i felt so bad because i was so tired and had lost over 1L of blood that i was out of it by the time everything was said and done. the nurse brought nicholas to me and i didn't even have the strength to lift my arms to hold him :( but the nurse held him to me and let him nurse even while i was fainted in the bed. i fainted 5 times over 2 days and spent most of the time in bed eating and drinking constantly so that i'd be able to be strong enough to hold him.

my first time holding nicholas

nicholas was born with a fever since i spiked a fever about an hour or so before i started pushing because my water broke so early on and he was also born with mild jaundice so he was kept in the nursery for the first 2days or so and he was allowed to leave the nursery only for me to nurse him. i was glad to have such an amazing team of nurses take care of me in labor and postpartum but honestly by the 2nd night i was getting super restless and ready to leave the hospital cause i was being checked up on every 20 mins or so and it was so exhausting trying to be nice and pleasant to everyone but i guess i was so nice that someone actually asked me if this was my 2nd baby because i bounced back so fast cause i guess most postpartum women are really cranky??


trying to figure out who was the one in labor lol


getting ready to go home


cuddling with daddy at home :)


3 days old