so much has happened this year. i mean massive amounts. i tried doing the right thing but somehow it still isn't sitting right with me. i wish everything was alright and i was more rational about making life changing decisions but here i am. there is some regret and it eats a hole in me everyday. i wish i gave things more time to play out but i knew that i had already ruined my life so why drag someone down with me? sometimes i feel like that puzzle with only one piece missing. you try to ignore that it's gone but it's always in the back of your mind and you wonder what happened? will i ever find it? will it ever be whole again?

but in all bitterness there is some sweetness.